when you compare yourself to others you lower your self worth. you are not in a competition with anyone. you are special the way you are. make a conscious effort to free yourself from comparisons. celebrate your own uniqueness, and be proud of yourself.
You shouldn’t have to convince someone to say “yes.”
Coercion is used in many sexual assaults. It can look different in different situations, but ultimately all coercion is manipulation. It can happen through:
pressuring (e.g. repeatedly asking someone until they are worn down)
threatening (e.g. “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me”)
intimidating (e.g. smashing something when someone says “no”)
blackmailing (e.g. “I’ll tell everyone you’re gay if you don’t”)
guilt-tripping (e.g “If you really loved me you would have sex with me”)
It’s important to understand that the person was not given the space to freely say “no.” (Source: ConsentEd)
If your partner cannot freely say no or use a safeword without explanation or qualification, it is manipulation, not consent.
If your partner cannot change their mind about something to which they previously consented without fear of reprisal or consequences, it is manipulation, not consent.
If your partner feels unsafe saying no to you or using their safeword with you, it is manipulation, not consent.
The semantics of consent may change in a BDSM/CNC context, but the principles do not. Play without consent is abuse. ▪
